Before modern contraceptive methods were available in developing countries, post-partum sexual abstinence formed the backbone of birth spacing. With the changes occurring in African societies, how has post-partum sexual abstinence been affected? We conducted an exploratory study in 2000-2001 in Abidjan, Côte d'Ivoire with 23 women and 19 men who were parents of small children. Breastfeeding remains widespread and prolonged. Resumption of sexual relations after delivery was a mean of 11 months. Post-partum sexual abstinence was only distantly related to the traditional lactation taboo. Women expressed fears that their partner would seek elsewhere if they delayed sexual relations too long, and the risk of early pregnancy. Abstinence remained the main way to space births, given low contraceptive use. Mothers generally decided when to wean a child. Men usually made the first move to resume sexual relations, though most women negotiated timing and some insisted on condom use. Provision of condoms post-partum can play a contraceptive role for married couples and protect against STIs/HIV in extra-marital relationships, which are frequent post-partum. The duration of post-partum abstinence is in fact unclear because irregular sex may happen early and become regular only later. Women need post-partum information and services that address these issues.