Gay Monogamy: I Love You But I Can't Have Sex With Only You

Unlike other disciplines in the human sciences, psychology has undervalued the role of qualitative research methods in scientific inquiry. This has done a disservice to psychology, depriving its practitioners of skills which can simultaneously liberate and discipline the theoretical imagination. 'Grounded theory' is one useful approach to the systematic generation of theory from qualitative data, and alternative criteria can be advanced for judging the adequacy of research where qualitative methods have been used. An advantage of qualitative research is that theory is generated which is contextually sensitive, persuasive, and relevant.

In 1984, a task force of the American Psychological Association (APA) Committee on Lesbian and Gay Concerns was charged with investigating bias in psychotherapy with lesbians and gay men. The task force surveyed a large and diverse sample of psychologists to elicit information about specific instances of respondent-defined biased and sensitive psychotherapy practice. Open-ended responses were used to separately identify major themes of biased and sensitive practice and to illustrate each with concrete examples. Results suggest that psychologists vary widely in their adherence to a standard of unbiased practice with gay men and lesbians. To bring individual practice into accord with APA policy will require continued and expanded efforts to educate practitioners about sexual orientation.

Forty gay male couples participated in a questionnaire study comparing relationships that partners agreed were sexually open (N = 23) and relationships that partners agreed were sexually closed (N = 17). No significant differences were found in the quality of open versus closed relationships. Almost all men (93%) said they were in love with their partner. On scales assessing degree of love and liking for the partner, men in open and closed relationships were indistinguishable. Nor did the two types of relationships differ in measures of satisfaction and commitment. It appears that sexually open and closed relationships can be equally satisfying. It has been suggested that gay male relationships typically go through predictable stages in which an initial "honeymoon" of sexual exclusivity is inevitably followed by a change to openness. Only 20% of our couples followed this pattern, however. The remaining 80% showed diverse patterns such as continued exclusivity throughout the relationship or a change from initial openness to sexual exclusivity. Men's reasons for having an open or closed relationship were diverse. Personal attitudes and values about the merits of exclusivity were an important factor. Men in open relationships also emphasized the benefits of sexual variety and personal independence. Men in closed relationships stressed their desire to avoid jealousy. Although partners' agreements about whether their relationship should be open or closed had a significant effect on their actual sexual behavior, some discrepancies were found. Most men in closed relationships had had at least one outside sexual liaison, although they reported having many fewer sex partners than men in open relationships.