The Compassion Balance: Understanding the Interrelation of Self- and Other-Compassion for Optimal Well-being

Abstract

Objectives

This study examined the role of self-other harmony in the relations between self-compassion, other-compassion, and well-being. Past research has shown self- and other-compassion to be positively related. But we hypothesised that self-compassion can be perceived as incompatible with other-compassion, and that self-compassion and other-compassion might be uncorrelated or negatively correlated in daily life for some individuals. We termed this pattern lack of self-other harmony in compassion and hypothesised that it would undermine the benefits of compassion.

Method

Using an experience sampling method in patients ( n=154) with a variety of diagnoses, we measured self-compassion, other-compassion, life-satisfaction, mood, and contextual variables six times per day for 42 time points.

Results

For most participants, self-compassion was positively associated with other-compassion. However, there was substantial heterogeneity in this effect. The degree of self-other harmony moderated the link between compassion directed towards self or other and well-being. Higher levels of compassion were associated with higher levels of well-being, but only for those who experienced the harmony. When the two forms of compassion were not in harmony, levels of self/other-compassion were largely unrelated to well-being.

Conclusions

The findings emphasise the importance of personalised compassion interventions rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. Increasing self-compassion or other-compassion is likely to improve well-being for most people. However, for a minority lacking the self-other harmony, it may be necessary to assess their interpretation of self- and other-compassion, then work with them to promote the compassion balance optimal for their well-being.

Preregistration

This study is not preregistered.