The objective of this paper is to describe one study undertaken in the north of England which sought an understanding of family care-giving for people with dementia. Data were collected by interview and diary with 14 family carers, by questionnaire with 60 professional carers, and by interview and diary from nine case studies. Family carers were found to value their continuing relationship with the person with dementia. This emphasis on their relationship together influenced the contact which they had with professional carers. The implications of this research for policy and professional practice are explored through illumination of the tensions in professional responses to family carers.